I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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