you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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