That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
