i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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