just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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