A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize