if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
