Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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