So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
