I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
