I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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