Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
