we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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