I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
