her vagine was all disorganized.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
