Nicole vs. Life
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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