So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
