Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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