Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
there's paper in my vomit.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
