Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
