Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
