he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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