I wanna bring you to show and tell
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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