I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
