That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
