Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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