My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
