I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
