I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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