New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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