EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
