we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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