Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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