Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
