all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
