Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
