im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
