erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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