He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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