u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
