Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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