Sponge bath it is.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize