3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
