This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
