bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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