david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
