I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
this will be a night to untag.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
