Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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