Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
