Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
this is an emotional support booty call
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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