; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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