I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
