i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
