Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize