Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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