They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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