can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
